So I didn't really have any sort of event or experience to write about. Well, at least not any to drone on the way you've all grown accustomed to and, I can only assume, love. I do however have a lot of random thoughts that bounce in and out of my head and while I do find them interesting, really aren't enough to qualify in my mind blogworthy on their own. Really like days of free association. Have a thought, that's great, think about it. Oh, what's that over there, there's another thought. That's cool. What was I just talking about? It's a little like that. Who am I kidding, it's exactly like that. So I'm going to umbrella all of these under the banner of my short attention span. And this could be the first of may like this. This particular post will just be the verbal equivalent of leftovers with a few different subjects.
So I have what you might call an epilogue to the Snowpocalypse post. I had cleared off my driveway of snow the afternoon of the Super Bowl (I think I owe the NFL .73¢ just for typing that) and among other things I found out that my 24 year old hand me down snowblower works great when the bottom surface is ice. My driveway still has a good one to two inches of ice on it still. So the paddles didn't get stuck at all on that and got the whole thing cleared off pretty quickly. And in essence I just got rid of all the stuff that would give me traction on the ice. Oh well. And I got the end of the driveway shoveled out flat and even cleared a spot for the mailman to pull up to drop my mail in. I'm not sure who was clearing out our edition roads but the ruts in the road were getting pretty deep. So when I cleared out the end of the driveway I figured that'd be a little helpful. And it looked pretty good and the car backed out pretty easily. And that was the last time I was out on Sunday. I go to leave for work and son of a bitch if the damn blade hadn't come by and fucked up the end of my driveway with all the slush and stuff. That's wrong...frozen slush and stuff. It had gotten cold enough that there was no getting rid of it. It's there till it gets warmer. And I like that the pile the plow got in front of my driveway is tall enough to scrape the bottom of my car. NICE! That has to be great on all the parts underneath. I just hear it scraping every time I back in or out...thanks snow truck dick.
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I'm on record...'Glee' sucks. There, I said it out loud. Everyone, you can quit fucking talking about how great 'Glee' is. Ahhh..fucking 'Glee'..they're on Oprah, they're the greatest, they're gonna do this song...I give a crap. Go watch your local high school swing choir, it's more interesting. I'm tired of "Glee" being forced down everyone's collective throat because you're supposed to think it's great. It's like "Ally McBeal" all over again, "Hey, it's interesting because it's different." It's not fucking different, it's a sitcom (and that's generous) and they sing. People that love it make every excuse in the world for it to be good, "it's campy", "it's fun", "it's something different". No, it just stinks. Biggest problem I have with it, it's not funny. They call it a comedy because they have Jane Lynch. Great job, you have Jane Lynch playing Jane Lynch. And don't get me wrong, I think she's great, 40 Year Old Virgin, Talladega Nights, Best in Show. She is really good. But they cast her because they saw "Role Models" and said "hey, do that again every week". And the songs even stink. They had 'Don't Stop Believin' on the pilot and they can't even get a good song after that. You know, when the best part of your show is the guest stars you're able to con onto being on your program, you have a problem. You're really not too far removed from being "The Love Boat", and that's not being fair to the memory of "The Love Boat". Sorry to besmirch your good name Pacific Princess by even putting "Glee" anywhere near your memory.
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I just saw someone recently at a liquor store and she had a shopping cart. And I'm not talking about some downtrodden lady outside the store with her own cartful of sadness. She was using a cart in the liquor store. I guess that also begs the question, when did liquor store start furnishing carts? Now don't get me wrong, I love my liquor. It's one of the main four food groups. Jack Daniels...personal friend of mine. I have a number of bottles of wine at any given moment. Hell, I have my own kegerator for God's sake, so I think it's safe to say I'm a fan. Now I said all that to say this, I have never needed a cart at a liquor store. Let me repeat that, I have never needed a cart at a liquor store. Ok, once I needed a cart for liquor, but it was an extreme situation. A large work group went to an event called "Carb Day" and we rolled into the track with seventeen cases of beer. And apparently my backward state and it's liquor laws only allows for four cases of beer to be bought at one time. So I had to do multiple trips to get it. And it's a little difficult, not to mention heavy, to lug around four cases at once. But that's an event with a lot of people. And seeing how there was no event of any sort this time of year that would really warrant a cart (unless you have some really big Valentine's Day plans), I was left guessing. Now I'm thinking a few things at this point, she's done with AA and this is her big 'fuck off' to that, she's having a party and she's inviting everyone. Not everyone she knows, just everyone. Or she's very lazy and doesn't want to carry anything around the store while deciding between the Zinfandel or the Pinot. Unfortunately I saw this as I had just gotten back into my car and she was going into the store. Because you know if I had seen that while I was in the store I would have had to linger just to see how full someone decides to fill their liquor store cart on a random Thursday.
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I have forgotten so many seeds of ideas to write about it's really starting to get annoying. I at times have a horrible memory. Sometimes it's like that of a crack addicted tree frog, and that's not being fair to actual crack addicted tree frogs. I'll have this good idea, or at least what I'm calling a good idea, and I think it's so good I can write about it later. And later comes and I cannot pull what the thought was. And of course I don't write it down, that's for old people with shit memories. Well call me grandpa because I've forgotten a lot of good subjects. I only wish I could remember some of them. I know I thought they were good because I can remember being excited about thinking what I could write. How's that, I can remember being excited about the topic but I can't remember the topic. Way to go dipshit, what's a brick of Post-It™ notes cost? A dollar? Nice. In one ear and out the other. Gone in sixty seconds, and just as annoying as the Nicholas Cage move. See, now why do I feel compelled to always take a swing at Nick Cage. Ghost Rider, Season of the Witch, National Treasure (any of them), Brining Out the Dead, Zandalee, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, The Weather Man. Oh yeah, that's why.
So I have what you might call an epilogue to the Snowpocalypse post. I had cleared off my driveway of snow the afternoon of the Super Bowl (I think I owe the NFL .73¢ just for typing that) and among other things I found out that my 24 year old hand me down snowblower works great when the bottom surface is ice. My driveway still has a good one to two inches of ice on it still. So the paddles didn't get stuck at all on that and got the whole thing cleared off pretty quickly. And in essence I just got rid of all the stuff that would give me traction on the ice. Oh well. And I got the end of the driveway shoveled out flat and even cleared a spot for the mailman to pull up to drop my mail in. I'm not sure who was clearing out our edition roads but the ruts in the road were getting pretty deep. So when I cleared out the end of the driveway I figured that'd be a little helpful. And it looked pretty good and the car backed out pretty easily. And that was the last time I was out on Sunday. I go to leave for work and son of a bitch if the damn blade hadn't come by and fucked up the end of my driveway with all the slush and stuff. That's wrong...frozen slush and stuff. It had gotten cold enough that there was no getting rid of it. It's there till it gets warmer. And I like that the pile the plow got in front of my driveway is tall enough to scrape the bottom of my car. NICE! That has to be great on all the parts underneath. I just hear it scraping every time I back in or out...thanks snow truck dick.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
I'm on record...'Glee' sucks. There, I said it out loud. Everyone, you can quit fucking talking about how great 'Glee' is. Ahhh..fucking 'Glee'..they're on Oprah, they're the greatest, they're gonna do this song...I give a crap. Go watch your local high school swing choir, it's more interesting. I'm tired of "Glee" being forced down everyone's collective throat because you're supposed to think it's great. It's like "Ally McBeal" all over again, "Hey, it's interesting because it's different." It's not fucking different, it's a sitcom (and that's generous) and they sing. People that love it make every excuse in the world for it to be good, "it's campy", "it's fun", "it's something different". No, it just stinks. Biggest problem I have with it, it's not funny. They call it a comedy because they have Jane Lynch. Great job, you have Jane Lynch playing Jane Lynch. And don't get me wrong, I think she's great, 40 Year Old Virgin, Talladega Nights, Best in Show. She is really good. But they cast her because they saw "Role Models" and said "hey, do that again every week". And the songs even stink. They had 'Don't Stop Believin' on the pilot and they can't even get a good song after that. You know, when the best part of your show is the guest stars you're able to con onto being on your program, you have a problem. You're really not too far removed from being "The Love Boat", and that's not being fair to the memory of "The Love Boat". Sorry to besmirch your good name Pacific Princess by even putting "Glee" anywhere near your memory.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
I just saw someone recently at a liquor store and she had a shopping cart. And I'm not talking about some downtrodden lady outside the store with her own cartful of sadness. She was using a cart in the liquor store. I guess that also begs the question, when did liquor store start furnishing carts? Now don't get me wrong, I love my liquor. It's one of the main four food groups. Jack Daniels...personal friend of mine. I have a number of bottles of wine at any given moment. Hell, I have my own kegerator for God's sake, so I think it's safe to say I'm a fan. Now I said all that to say this, I have never needed a cart at a liquor store. Let me repeat that, I have never needed a cart at a liquor store. Ok, once I needed a cart for liquor, but it was an extreme situation. A large work group went to an event called "Carb Day" and we rolled into the track with seventeen cases of beer. And apparently my backward state and it's liquor laws only allows for four cases of beer to be bought at one time. So I had to do multiple trips to get it. And it's a little difficult, not to mention heavy, to lug around four cases at once. But that's an event with a lot of people. And seeing how there was no event of any sort this time of year that would really warrant a cart (unless you have some really big Valentine's Day plans), I was left guessing. Now I'm thinking a few things at this point, she's done with AA and this is her big 'fuck off' to that, she's having a party and she's inviting everyone. Not everyone she knows, just everyone. Or she's very lazy and doesn't want to carry anything around the store while deciding between the Zinfandel or the Pinot. Unfortunately I saw this as I had just gotten back into my car and she was going into the store. Because you know if I had seen that while I was in the store I would have had to linger just to see how full someone decides to fill their liquor store cart on a random Thursday.
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I have forgotten so many seeds of ideas to write about it's really starting to get annoying. I at times have a horrible memory. Sometimes it's like that of a crack addicted tree frog, and that's not being fair to actual crack addicted tree frogs. I'll have this good idea, or at least what I'm calling a good idea, and I think it's so good I can write about it later. And later comes and I cannot pull what the thought was. And of course I don't write it down, that's for old people with shit memories. Well call me grandpa because I've forgotten a lot of good subjects. I only wish I could remember some of them. I know I thought they were good because I can remember being excited about thinking what I could write. How's that, I can remember being excited about the topic but I can't remember the topic. Way to go dipshit, what's a brick of Post-It™ notes cost? A dollar? Nice. In one ear and out the other. Gone in sixty seconds, and just as annoying as the Nicholas Cage move. See, now why do I feel compelled to always take a swing at Nick Cage. Ghost Rider, Season of the Witch, National Treasure (any of them), Brining Out the Dead, Zandalee, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, The Weather Man. Oh yeah, that's why.
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